So I've been trying to think of some kind of exciting blog post to type up for you, something motivational and 'advice-giving', but everything I try just doesn't seem to be right. It doesn't seem to be honest or accurate. I'm just not in that position. I'm just having a bad day, well... bad week. And do you know what? That's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. It happens to the best of us.
That's what everyone says. And yes, they're right. There is nothing wrong with that. But when you're feeling like crap, that's not what you want to hear. You don't want to hear that 'everybody has bad days'. You just want a hug, a blanket, maybe a good cry, and a friend. Someone who will just nod their head and squeeze you tighter at the right moments. Unfortunately, I'm pretty much forever alone (😂) so that isn't really an option at this present time...
So when I feel like crap and I'm single, alone and just bleuurgghhh, I do these things. I have absolutely nula motivation to do it, but then I also know that I will at least feel a little bit better and hopefully yas lot will too...
1: Drink tea - haha, how typically British...
Tea is a magical drink. You can have it however you want it - strong, sweet, cold, hot, milky, not milky... you get the picture - it is literally a liquid hug. You can have green teas, earl grey, yorkshire tea (my fave) and then just your average tea kinda thing. Tea warms you up, both because it's warm and also because it's comforting, it's just that kind of drink. It's what you need when outside is all cold and wet and miserable, and you're just sitting with a good book or watching some reality crap on the TV.
There are teas that just relax you so much. They make you sleepy and tired, and when I feel down or groggy, I really struggle to sleep. I get really tired and then when I get to bed I just lie there, wide awake, the world just revolving around in my head, then eventually, about four/five hours later, I get to sleep. But, when I have tea I'm gone in like, an hour tops. I mean, that's still quite a while, but it's better than before. You can also get teas that wake you up and get you going, which is something I really really realllyyyyy need sometimes. You know those times when you wake up after a restless night of 'sleep' and you just have that knot in your stomach and that rock weighing down on your chest, well have a tea. They'll either relax you, get you going, or just give you that internal hug you really need.
2: Take a break.
Get out of your house/flat/apartment... whatever. Go outside. Fresh air works wonders for making you feel better. Go for a walk, if possible, around a lake or body of water. You've then got the fresh air and the calming sounds of the water. If you're angry, throw some stones in the water (check if you're allowed though, some places don't in case you hit a duck or something). Let that anger out in any way you can. Go outside at night time and watch the stars and the moon. Wrap up though, it's so cold outside right now, but the air feels so much more fresh and crisp in the nights. Take some deep breathes, reach right down to the bottom of your lungs and blow out. Just do it. Go to the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere and scream. Sounds ridiculous I know, but do it. You need it and it works.
Put on some music and dance around. Nothing rubbish and slow, something positive and upbeat. Right now my go to track is 'Power' by Little Mix. Even if you hate Little Mix, just go listen. Guarantee you will be going wild. It's that sort of song that puts you in a boss-ass mood. I'm also loving Anne Marie at the moment. Just a couple of tunes to give you some ideas. I don't think people actually realise how much of an affect music has on a person and how much it influences your mood. It's actually almost hypnotic. You get some sad songs that I would put on if I felt like I needed a good cry, but then you get those absolute bangers that just make you go wild.
Go in to town and just meander about. I personally cannot deal with this one, but I know some people who benefit from it. They find it relaxing. Retail therapy or whatever... I can't really write much about this as it doesn't really appeal to me in any way. The actual thought of it just makes me uncomfortable and uptight.
3: Remove toxic things from you're life
This is generally social media and magazines and what not. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat what not, they're all full of poison and crap that generally makes you feel like actual crap. Those people who put completely pointless updates on Facebook are just time wasters. You do not benefit from any of the crap unless it's some sort of motivational quote. It's nice to see your friends and family and what they've been up to, but just put your phone down. Watch the world pass by. I used to do this all the time with Jane when we would have our little meetings. I mean, that wasn't anything we were required to do, but just doing that one thing and having a laugh was one of the best things I could do. It's weirdly fun.
Magazines filled with photo-shopped women and your fortune and what-not just adds pressure on yourself. All this 'ideal body' crap is just poison. Put on your little tiara or superman top, whatever, and know that you're beautiful no matter what. You are you and you're beautiful. Forget what other people think and be you. The people that matter won't care, they'll just get on with their lives like normal. You be you and screw the rest. The other day I went out of the house with concealer, mascara and eyebrows on. That was the most petrifying thing I've done in a while but I just thought do it. Just do it. If a model needs to be photo shopped then she's obviously not socially 'perfect' enough, but everybody is perfect in their own way, if everybody looked the same, it would be rather boring.
4: Prioritize yourself
Think about what your body can do each and everyday. It is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament. Get a jar or something, and write a whole load of positive things about yourself, or about times you were happy, on bits of paper and put them in the jar. Add to it when you can, take one out when you need to. It is so good, and when you're having these bad days, get one. Read it and remember.
You've made it this far, and you know that sooner or later you'll be feeling up to life. I suffer from relapsing depression, and this is one of the hardest things to do, personally. When I feel like I have been for the past few days, thinking about the future and the fact that I will soon be in control of myself is flippin difficult. But we've made it this far and we can continue to do so. Always remember you are number one priority. Nothing is stopping you being the best you can be. You may feel like you're not going to get out of this, but go with it, roll with it and when you feel strong enough, do something, it doesn't need to be big or drastic, just take some time to breathe and then you can continue moving forward and being the amazing person you are.
If you need a good cry. Cry. I must admit, I really hate crying and I tend to avoid it at all costs. But please do it. It's a good release.
I'm gonna leave you here now. Continue doing what you're doing. You're a beautiful person inside and out and you're going places. Keep pushing because I guarantee you'll get there. It may seem like a lifetime, but you see that tiny speck of light in front of you, you'll get there. We'll get there together
🎜My fave songs of the week...
1) Glory Days (full album) 2) Rockabye Baby 3) Alarm 4) Merry Christmas Everyone